She bears the look of a clown on a rainy day.
Poorly done make up on a smudge
of purple on her cheekbone.
Eye shadow to conceal the black eye as
she draws back her dark sunglasses.
Crimson lines on her skin,
even the makeup foundation couldn’t hide.
Pulling her sleeves past the
bruises now revealed on her arm.
A broken lip, evidence of last night’s attack.
With her face lowered to the ground
Shameless glares, confusion
Feelings of guilt caressed in pain
A self esteem lost through years of
abuse for a love built on violence.
He taught her how to love with kicks and blows.
Nothing was good enough for him.
The food didn’t taste right,
his clothes were not pressed perfect,
she questioned him, or she
said hello to a few people on the street.
Something was always itching his skin,
pulling his sleeves up in excitement and raising his voice.
Caressing alcohol all the while, quick to hit her.
She knew no better way to love him.
As he fed her on what kills her everyday
Questioning her integrity, controlling her thoughts,
keeping her away from her family and friends.
Manipulating her all the while.
Wound up in violence,
a prison she wished to break free from but she was afraid.
Fading screams at the midnight hour as
she masturbates his pride in the name of loyalty.
Insults resonating through her mind,
echoes of her screams in the corridors
rhythmic to the blows on her face.
Sucking oxygen out of her system,
destroying her dreams, crushing reality.
Her clothes drenched from her tears,
shreds of cloth with blood stains on the floor,
broken mirror mocking her reflection.
Once he loved her, happiness they shared at least for a while
Promises of love and respect on their nuptial day.
A love built on a broken bridge.
Love was beautiful at one point, she thought.
What happened to the love and respect?
A man who cherished and loved her now hidden
behind a fake facade of an abuser,
playing out tantrums of a little boy.
An angry, insecure, obnoxious, jealous man.
A control freak to caress his ego.
Taking up making forms in a game of fists.
Salvaging his appetite of control, afraid to show his emotions.
She became his punching bag but
she still loved him and wouldn’t leave.
Standing by him, choking on pain and fear.
The shower curtain broke unceremoniously this time
Unanimously, the lights flickered.
With one blow, she dropped on the floor unconscious.
The scars of the previous night still fresh, the pain and memories
still as hurtful for a love built on violence.
A woman chained in an emotional solitary confinement
with a man who knows how to love her with kicks and blows.
Trying to salvage what’s left as she turns on her hospital bed.
Whispers between her family and friends,
words of encouragement and support
calming her fears and soothing her.
She should have tried to reach out to them.
Mixed feelings of shame, guilt, stupidity and
unworthiness bringing tears to her eyes.
Trying to make amends with her heart.
Trying to forgive herself and forgive him too.
Trying to win back the love she had for herself.
Appreciating the gift of life, borrowing time to relinquish what’s left.
Better choices will come, reclaiming her self esteem and motivation.
Analyzing her mistakes and life choices.
Fixing the broken pieces and breaking free from abuse.
Learning to love better, without kicks and blows.
© FloetryC 2015