Violent Love ( A Love of Kicks and Blows)

She bears the look of a clown on a rainy day.

Poorly done make up on a smudge

of purple on her cheekbone.

Eye shadow to conceal the black eye as

she draws back her dark sunglasses.

Crimson lines on her skin,

even the makeup foundation couldn’t hide.

Pulling her sleeves past the

bruises now revealed on her arm.

A broken lip, evidence of last night’s attack.

With her face lowered to the ground

Shameless glares, confusion

Feelings of guilt caressed in pain

A self esteem lost through years of

abuse for a love built on violence.

He taught her how to love with kicks and blows.

Nothing was good enough for him.

The food didn’t taste right,

his clothes were not pressed perfect,

she questioned him, or she

said hello to a few people on the street.

Something was always itching his skin,

pulling his sleeves up in excitement and raising his voice.

Caressing alcohol all the while, quick to hit her.

She knew no better way to love him.

As he fed her on what kills her everyday

Questioning her integrity, controlling her thoughts,

keeping her away from her family and friends.

Manipulating her all the while.

Wound up in violence,

a prison she wished to break free from but she was afraid.

Fading screams at the midnight hour as

she masturbates his pride in the name of loyalty.

Insults resonating through her mind,

echoes of her screams in the corridors

rhythmic to the blows on her face.

Sucking oxygen out of her system,

destroying her dreams, crushing reality.

Her clothes drenched from her tears,

shreds of cloth with blood stains on the floor,

broken mirror mocking her reflection.

Once he loved her, happiness they shared at least for a while

Promises of love and respect on their nuptial day.

A love built on a broken bridge.

Love was beautiful at one point, she thought.

What happened to the love and respect?

A man who cherished and loved her now hidden

behind a fake facade of an abuser,

playing out tantrums of a little boy.

An angry, insecure, obnoxious, jealous man.

A control freak to caress his ego.

Taking up making forms in a game of fists.

Salvaging his appetite of control, afraid to show his emotions.

She became his punching bag but

she still loved him and wouldn’t leave.

Standing by him, choking on pain and fear.

The shower curtain broke unceremoniously this time

Unanimously, the lights flickered.

With one blow, she dropped on the floor unconscious.

The scars of the previous night still fresh, the pain and memories

still as hurtful for a love built on violence.

A woman chained in an emotional solitary confinement

with a man who knows how to love her with kicks and blows.

Trying to salvage what’s left as she turns on her hospital bed.

Whispers between her family and friends,

words of encouragement and support

calming her fears and soothing her.

She should have tried to reach out to them.

Mixed feelings of shame, guilt, stupidity and

unworthiness bringing tears to her eyes.

Trying to make amends with her heart.

Trying to forgive herself and forgive him too.

Trying to win back the love she had for herself.

Appreciating the gift of life, borrowing time to relinquish what’s left.

Better choices will come, reclaiming her self esteem and motivation.

Analyzing her mistakes and life choices.

Fixing the broken pieces and breaking free from abuse.

Learning to love better, without kicks and blows.

© FloetryC 2015

11111

Advertisements

Author: AfroetryC

I am an African woman and a mother to a precious little angel. I love to use the term "Afro-floetic Queen" mostly to describe my poetry and my roots. I love poetry...art, soul music and inspirational bits of knowledge to offer advice and counseling to those who need it. I can be very witty, straight forward but fun. Ha. ha... A colorful perception of the world - expressed in my poetry. I want to inspire people with my Poetry...give them hope, while also advising them. Life is a learning process and i am happy when one of my pieces directly affects or inspires one of my readers. Let's take a detour around experience, and let me fill your minds with sweet poetic juices.... Note: Just changed my user name from FloetryC to AfroetryC because the latter is more personal and describes my Spoken Word Poetry better.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s