Wasted Years ( Waiting for marriage)

The year is ending. She’s survived another year

with him. A new moon beckons; summoning the

harsh reality of 2016. That will be 10 years since

he proposed to marry her. Yet she still clutches

on to hope like straws, keeping the faith and

hoping that someday he’ll marry her.

 

Painful memories linger in her awake-ness as she

recalls all the lies and promises that he made, the

waiting time as he put her on a pedestal and used

his job, finances and house as a scapegoat. Buying

time to hide his inconsistencies. It’s hard to plan a

future when you’re dodging bullets.

 

She was blind to his words of treachery. Believing

everything he said and falling at his feet like a loyal

dog. Time must have veered off as he spoke of

forever, filling her mind with dreams. Wasted years

slipped through her fingers as he made empty

promises. She was always making excuses for him,

justifying his controversial behavior. Dodging her

family who had started questioning her relationship.

Defending an uncertain relationship built on lies.

Believing a non-existent future with him.

 

She was afraid of losing him and being alone.

The fear of dating again, made her uncomfortable.

She held on to the common adage, “Better the devil

you know than the angel you know nothing about”.

She was stuck on rusted loyalty and a crumbling

home, while he lied, and cheated on her. Caressing

fleeting shadows, a slave to unrealistic plans. A victim

of fate’s sick joke, a mockery of the biological clock.

She wanted to have children and start a family with him.

 

While she waited, he made plans with another woman.

Defending a fact she thought would fade. Dismissing

evidence because of a faith she had in him. Tolerating

and enabling his indecisiveness, slow decisions and

conflicted thoughts. Playing jury to a lost cause.

 

The year is ending; his wedding plans are now finalized.

He’s getting married to a woman he has only known

for a few months and she’s pregnant. Vanishing years

of woe, the stings of pain and regret all over her mind

and heart. Aching pains all over her body, wrinkles on

her skin more prominent now. She is angry and bitter.

 

Recalling all the potential suitors she turned down while

waiting for him. Years on birth control and countless

abortions because he’d printed the idea of a family after

marriage in her mind. Remembering all the friends and

acquaintances she ditched in order to focus on him.

Painful memories of the advice she dismissed because

she believed everything he said and trusted him.

She wasted her time in a broken relationship with no future.

She waited for a marriage that didn’t come.

She prepared him to marry another woman.

 

 

©FloetryC 2015

wered

 

Advertisements

Author: AfroetryC

I am an African woman and a mother to a precious little angel. I love to use the term "Afro-floetic Queen" mostly to describe my poetry and my roots. I love poetry...art, soul music and inspirational bits of knowledge to offer advice and counseling to those who need it. I can be very witty, straight forward but fun. Ha. ha... A colorful perception of the world - expressed in my poetry. I want to inspire people with my Poetry...give them hope, while also advising them. Life is a learning process and i am happy when one of my pieces directly affects or inspires one of my readers. Let's take a detour around experience, and let me fill your minds with sweet poetic juices.... Note: Just changed my user name from FloetryC to AfroetryC because the latter is more personal and describes my Spoken Word Poetry better.

1 thought on “Wasted Years ( Waiting for marriage)”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s