Daddy Issues

“Dad is an atlas, so we keep discovering new places where he does

not exist…like in the bodies of all the men we have ever tried to love”.

 

Warsan Shire.

 

She never knew her father.

Her first heart break was from the first man in her life,

her father.

She’s a product of the second generation of females with

daddy issues, a slave to psychological and emotional despair

constantly bowing to random men filling her with false

promises and breaking her heart.

 

 

She drowns in an emotional whirlpool.

Falls in love easily and takes up any man who compliments

her and emulates the father figure she craves.

Enabling mistreatment and toxic relationships because she

is afraid of being alone.

Constantly crumbling in between layers of needing to be

needed, craving attention and constant reassurance of a

warped love.

 

 

She searches for the missing face of her father in all the

wrong places.

Looking for herself in the arms of different men

Letting them hang their sexual fantasies on her.

Calling a man “daddy” when she feels his penis wiggling

inside her pot of clay like vicious insects.

Falling to her knees amidst moments of fleeting satisfaction,

pulsating emotions marinated as fake love as he breathes

inside her.

 

 

She was never taught the characteristics of a good man or

the definition of a real man.

She developed a perceptive definition of love between

her thighs.

Finding a man that fitted the description of a father figure

became her sole purpose as she let any man who made her

feel good take up that spot in her life and crash her spirit.

Afraid that love would stray, she became desperate and

clingy. Drowning in the same cycle of despair.

Blaming herself for all her choices, decisions and mistakes.

Using her father as a scapegoat instead of rebuilding her life

and learning to love herself.

Understanding that it wasn’t her fault and the resentment

she feels for her father shouldn’t define her life and her

relationship choices.

 

Rising up beyond her pain and disappointment.

Using her past as a yardstick to rebuild herself as a woman

with respect and integrity; not a desperate woman still holding

onto to daddy’s mistakes and looking for a man to fill that void.

Daddy issues redefined, rebuilt.

 

 

©FloetryC 2016