He is the master of deception.
Sharp tongue, quick wit.
The gas lighting guru wearing a
manipulative cloak and controlling
Lethargic feelings, locked in by
Lighting fires into my mouth with
I am nothing but a prisoner in his
Shackled by the anguish and drama
he swore was love.
Wrestling with my conscience and
abstaining from verbal exchange-
walking on eggshells, constantly on
the edge…never knowing what to
say or how to prevent an attack.
He batters me emotionally- hits
me with hurtful words and slices
me with snaps from a plethora of
Feeds me with silent treatment,
frequent name calling, and a bowl
of insults in the event of an
argument or disagreement.
He twists my words, replicates
different meanings and selectively
omits information to defend himself.
Accusatory! Using mental blackmail
to torment and drain me emotionally.
Making me feel straitjacketed and
breaking down my strong built walls.
Leaving me blaming myself, second
guessing and apologizing for nearly
His words are like scalpels.
Scathing information out right
to my bone.
He makes incisions through my skin
and inscribes, “stupid” and selfish”
through the hemispheres of my
brain- causing momentary spasms in
my cerebral regions .
His words weigh heavy on my chest
and vocal chords- corroding my will
and calcifying my spirit.
So, I learned how to go silent and how
to play dead.
Hide my tears and put on a tough face.
Worship him like a dog and waggle my
tail at his call.
Limit my opinions and let him have
Not to question him or correct him
when he’s wrong.
Feed his ego in constant agreement
like a stooge.
Lay repulsive on his bed of lies and let
him smother me with orchestrated love
making and pour salt on my wounds
because i was entangled in emotional
abuse and afraid of leaving.
Maybe if his insults had bludgeoned
my honey golden skin complexion the
way a hard punch would destroy the
muscle filaments in my soft body.
Maybe then he’d notice how much
pain he inflicted on me with his
frequent verbal abuse.
He took a part of me each time
he abused me emotionally-
ripped my self esteem, and destroyed
my confidence with a barrage of
botanical lacerations and constant blame.
Now i roam through the world with a
smile on my face but deep wounds in
my system that will take ages to heal.
Emotional abuse leaves no visible scars
you see but deep wounds inside the
heart, mind and soul.